NELLE 9 | 2026
The most beautiful girl.
Slim, red hair, freckled skin.
Girl I wanted most to be like
in the world. You should’ve seen
her smile, her 90s body suits
and the way everyone turned
when she walked into class, late,
holding her books to her waist.
She chose me to share her secrets,
box of cigarettes she dropped
in the car and I claimed until
her mother believed, man
much too old to be her boyfriend.
How lucky I felt. Girl of my heart.
Girl of my adolescence.
Blackout drunk
she finally tells me after years
of mysterious illness, weeping
phone calls. Her liver fat,
her hands won’t stop shaking.
She finally tells me she’ll die
if she keeps drinking.
Another slip, seizure, hospital stay.
Another bottle of vodka hidden
in her closet, under the car seat.
I tell her I’m scared. I tell her
how devastated I’ll be. Another
slip. Her beautiful red hair
grown thin, her freckled skin, waxy.
Girl of my adolescent heart. How badly
I want her to grow old with me.